Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I went to the doctor – pharyngitis, or sore throat that is chronic and severe. They gave me prednisone and Tessalon pills to manage symptoms until I hopefully heal. Unlikely I will perform at Nyne anytime soon, but Garland Pride is August 22.

I want to sing so bad. It’s an important coping mechanism for me. I missed all of choir and the concert is coming up I can’t do. I haven’t even had a voice lesson.

But I’m going to start trying, see where my throat really lies. The swallowing isn’t as painful and the prednisone is supposed to help with inflammation. That’s all it is, when you boil it down. Inflammation stopping my singing right in my throat.

Meanwhile, I’m still mulling over what to do about my APE for grad school. Do I need to quit my job? Should I ask for a block of time off and be able to come back? Should I quit but stick around for a project there? Do I try to find a remote option, and if I can’t, what do I do? I’m frustrated – the marketing behind this program, and why I applied, was because they touted it as ideal for working professionals, people who are busy and have a lot of experience in their fields already. And I did it – working two jobs but getting each class done, one day at a time, one paper at a time. All because it was exclusively online. I don’t want to quit my SH job. Things are oppressive and depressing at the VA right now. Everyone is so fucking petty and my boss has always hated me, never given me the benefit of the doubt, ever. At least at Sacred Heart the vibe is not oppressive and my boss really likes me and I outperform a lot of people. Also, it’s simply more interesting and dynamic because it isn’t a fucking nursing home. I am so tired of that kind of work, which is what I do at the VA. There’s a little bit of rehab going on, but it’s mostly high acuity with dementia and endless bowel movements.