anxiety
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I went to the doctor – pharyngitis, or sore throat that is chronic and severe. They gave me prednisone and Tessalon pills to manage symptoms until I hopefully heal. Unlikely I will perform at Nyne anytime soon, but Garland Pride is August 22. I want to sing so bad. It’s an important coping mechanism for…
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My voice is still gone, and it hurts to swallow. Which sucks. Shows are coming up. I went ahead and agreed to Garland Pride singing and have until the 22nd to get my voice back. I’m calling my doctor when I get off work. There are also shows the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the…
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I forgot my meds today. It may be all my imagination, but I swear I can feel it. Missing even one day throws me off and makes me depressed. Maybe it’s just placebo but what difference does it make if the anguish is the same? I did see Ceila and the new baby last night…
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So, I haven’t been able to sing since I nailed My Heart Will Go On on the cruise ship. And I did nail it too. My version of pneumonia started about a day after mom’s, when we got off the boat and made it to the hotel. I had puking, fever, coughing, headache. That was…
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I haven’t talked to my brother, but I did send him a strongly worded text after he sent me one: “ready to talk?” He didn’t reply. Then tonight mom and I sent him a Walmart order of groceries and water. He had texted her, asking for some food. He’s so absurdly broke and I feel…
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My brother has betrayed me. I got a phone call from my mom while at work last night, at VA. She never calls me at work, and in fact, if you do, it means it’s an emergency. That’s the code. She told me George was flailing about the house, screaming and carrying on, and most…
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Oh my GOD. OH MY GOD. I am halfway through my most intense class yet, thank god it’s the only one I’m taking this quarter. I am BROKE. I spent all my money on grad school and a cruise. As soon as this class ends, I leave on an Alaskan adventure – first the land…
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I still hate driving by the mental hospital. I have no choice, it is right there at a nexus of roads so no matter what route I take, I have to go by it. Sometimes it’s enough to ruin my night. Or at least set me off into a tailspin of terrible thoughts and memories.…
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May 13, Wednesday, was my last show and despite my limited practice for Part of that World, I did so much better than I was anticipating! I could feel it while it was happening. Marry A’botumn, our show host (I love that drag name) had an important announcement for us too. Instead of just the…
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Damn near inspiring – the profound effects of my own mind at war with itself. Jean Paul Sartre said life is an unwelcome interruption to a peaceful nonexistence. I really feel that sometimes. No voices this time, just turmoil. I have a lot of thoughts. They’re so fast. A lot on my mind. I did…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 