anxiety
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These meds work too well sometimes. Things were pretty bad on depakote, I still ended up in the hospital, but this combination of abilify with lamotrigine makes me have a very flat affect. I look like a robot. Internally I am both depressed and not depressed. Depressed enough to notice that I can’t do anything…
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I forgot my meds today but I’m managing. There’s so much built up in my system that maybe one day of missed meds won’t hit me as hard. Yesterday it occurred to me I don’t know when I’m next supposed to see the doctor. He prescribes them and he won’t cut me off or anything…
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I’ve been very diligent about taking my meds. They do keep me functioning. There is a lot I have to do, every day. Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed but, on the meds, it doesn’t seem so bad. And some of what I do isn’t work related, something the doctors always said was important. I’m in…
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I sort of feel like I am trying to slog through mud. I’m tired. Everything feels so heavy and difficult. It does not help that I am at work, loaded with around 25 patients because I’m the only CNA. The nurses helped out a lot with vitals but there are a lot of them, and…
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I’m so stressed, and irritated, and depressed about everything. I hate to get all emo (there’s a reference that’ll date me) but it’s so hard fighting these mood swings and feelings. I did a lot of therapy to get more a handle on it and that helped and I still use that therapy to this…
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My sense of burnout is strong. I’m sick of patient care. There, I said it. I have a show coming up next week, that’s the only thing to look forward to right now. The wildfires that tore through my city left a lot of damage and heartbreak. I’m taking part in a fundraiser to benefit…
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I have struggled with med compliance. I missed a few days. Not in a row, but it still fucked with my mood. Every time I think I can ease up, I’ll be fine, it’s no big deal…I can’t. I come crawling back, and I hate it. They’re a production in and of themselves. I could…
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Last night during an abbreviated shift with no patients, I revamped the library/TV room. I tore it apart – reorganizing books, puzzles, games, and coloring books/pencils and putting it all into new places and throwing away a lot of junk. I cleaned the little computer room which is a room inside the library room –…
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I went to the doctor – pharyngitis, or sore throat that is chronic and severe. They gave me prednisone and Tessalon pills to manage symptoms until I hopefully heal. Unlikely I will perform at Nyne anytime soon, but Garland Pride is August 22. I want to sing so bad. It’s an important coping mechanism for…
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My voice is still gone, and it hurts to swallow. Which sucks. Shows are coming up. I went ahead and agreed to Garland Pride singing and have until the 22nd to get my voice back. I’m calling my doctor when I get off work. There are also shows the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the…
