medication
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The fundraiser flyer has been released, and I shared it all over my newly created Instagram as well as my Facebook. I brought in a lot of business to Nyne at the drag show two weeks ago, and I’m hoping to get everyone to come out again. More than before. This fundraiser is a big…
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Wednesday was my stage debut, my re-emergence from the shadows. I sang Villains, by Madalen Duke, and My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion. I did not sing Villains as well as I would have liked, getting used to a new venue and mic and sound system and performance floor. It wasn’t horrible, but that…
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This weekend marks the close of the Winter I quarter. Monday begins Winter II, and an official halfway point towards this master’s degree. There is Spring 1 after that, and the last time I will have two classes at a time. I will have only one per quarter starting Spring II. I will be finished…
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Folding towels. That’s all he does. Some things are worse than death. L:ike growing old. Or dementia. I’ve worked with a lot of old people in my time as a CNA. Thousands, by now. And even without dementia, growing old is no picnic. It is pain, slowness, weakness, and all kinds of medical issues. But…
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The last week of the winter I quarter. Final papers, projects, all due by the end of the week. There is literally no turn around time – winter II starts Monday. Sunday night, really. That’s when the classes appear in canvas and I get right to work. It is all accelerated and I like it…
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“What do you think Dr. P? Did you imagine me capable of this?” “How about you, Shirley? – you were the one who told me to take classes again.” I think about them sometimes. The staff and other patients in the hospital with me. Shirley was a nurse who dealt with my sleepwalking, gave me…
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“I’ll never speak on this again. Looks like I’m attention seeking, I know that’s what you’re all thinking.” “No, we’re not. We think you’re in great danger of hurting yourself,” Dr. P said. I sat in the turtle suit that seemed to swallow me whole. It was far too big. They took my clothes, everything…
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Heavy flashbacks tonight. I go back in time, my heart races, I’m flooded with memories that cause physical pain. It’s hard to concentrate. I’m so consumed sometimes. I want to talk to the doctor about it but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know that anything can really be done about it. I…
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Maybe something is changing. Even if just a little. I have so much pent-up energy and my bones are sizzling. I used ativan, melatonin, vistaril, and gabapentin to force myself to sleep before work. On my way to work, I drove by the mental hospital as I always do and this time, not the panic…
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A man knows not where he is. Drifting through a conscious unawareness, confused at why these people are in his house. Calling out to his long dead wife. Do we live too long? Have all our medical advances only prolonged the life of our bodies at the cost of our minds? I don’t know. We…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 