Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I spent 150 dollars on temu. I got 6 free items, I have to claim them one a day, one at a time. I fuckin love Temu.

I am blank and feel weird and floaty. I’m trying to stay grounded by focusing on my house, so a lot of what I got on temu was just that – new curtains, new cat furniture, and even new pillows. I also got some general gifts – I’m one of those people who buy things throughout the year for Christmas/birthdays. Then I got a few random items I don’t really need.

Confession time – for a few days now, I haven’t taken my nighttime dose of lamictal, the mood stabilizer. I haaate taking it. I choke on it, it’s chalky and dry. Sometimes it gets stuck in the back of my throat, and I gag it up in the sink. Very irritating, and I don’t try again. I know I need to work past it and take the stupid pill every night, not just in the morning. In the morning it’s easier because I take it with a handful of other pills, and they all go down like a shot when I take a big gulp of milk or water. I told my charge nurse about my choking and gagging issue and she said to try and take it with a spoonful of peanut butter or ice cream or something thick and homogenous like that. So, I know what I have to try later. I was unsuccessful again before work last night in taking the damn pill.

They’ve already got me training/orienting new people at my new job. I have only been here five months now. I can’t believe that much time has gone by already. A few friends are worried with how much I work, but like I’ve talked about before – work is a coping mechanism for me. I can throw myself into work and not think about the flashbacks and memories and triggers constantly tearing at my mind.