hospital

  • Tough Choice

    My voice is still gone, and it hurts to swallow. Which sucks. Shows are coming up. I went ahead and agreed to Garland Pride singing and have until the 22nd to get my voice back. I’m calling my doctor when I get off work. There are also shows the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the…

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  • The boat was so cool the first time. Classy and elegant. Now it was looking like Carnival as Princess seemed to be making a turn toward accommodating kids. I find this grotesque. Mom got pneumonia after spending just too much time outside on deck, smoking. Literally exposure is what got her. No one else on…

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  • So, I haven’t been able to sing since I nailed My Heart Will Go On on the cruise ship. And I did nail it too. My version of pneumonia started about a day after mom’s, when we got off the boat and made it to the hotel. I had puking, fever, coughing, headache. That was…

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  • PTSD symptoms

    PTSD symptoms

    Some days, the PTSD is strong. My mind perseverates on trauma, memories, pain. Pain I’ve worked really hard to work through, to come to terms with. But sometimes it hurts all over again. Maybe it’s because I saw the psych nurse practitioner who manages my meds. I told him I can’t even miss a day,…

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  • Recap

    In July 2024, I was violently detained and hospitalized for suicide and later, completed an Intensive Outpatient mental health program as the year ended. I remember that during the program, I was quite anxious about the upcoming holidays because I was not living in my house. Every day, I wrote here and in a journal,…

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  • Uprising

    The fundraiser flyer has been released, and I shared it all over my newly created Instagram as well as my Facebook. I brought in a lot of business to Nyne at the drag show two weeks ago, and I’m hoping to get everyone to come out again. More than before. This fundraiser is a big…

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  • Dressed as Girl

    Dressed as Girl

    In my 20s, while being a broke college student, I did a lot of drag. I had met a drag queen at a show and expressed my own interest in performing. Between music and singing lessons as well as dance, I had a decent background in performing arts. I almost majored in the fine arts,…

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  • Fragmented

    I had a good thought for tonight but now I am fragmented; my thoughts are multifactorial. I don’t even know where to start. Most of the time I just dive into work, this keeps me on a path. At Sacred Heart I was recently recognized for my talent at patient care. The patient died but…

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  • Leading the Charge

    I am compelled to take on a sort of leadership role within my class groups. Last week fumbled out as a mess and we were late turning in our assignments. The first parts to a grander design. I also have a head start. I go to work at 6pm every Sunday night at the VA.…

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  • Begging for Death

    Begging for Death

    A man begged me for death. I’ve been there. I begged for death when they strapped me to a bed in the ER, I begged for death when I got locked in the mental hospital for the 5th time. He is covered in sores, 85 years old, and miserable. “I need to talk to you!”…

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