mental health
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In July 2024, I was violently detained and hospitalized for suicide and later, completed an Intensive Outpatient mental health program as the year ended. I remember that during the program, I was quite anxious about the upcoming holidays because I was not living in my house. Every day, I wrote here and in a journal,…
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The fundraiser flyer has been released, and I shared it all over my newly created Instagram as well as my Facebook. I brought in a lot of business to Nyne at the drag show two weeks ago, and I’m hoping to get everyone to come out again. More than before. This fundraiser is a big…
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Wednesday was my stage debut, my re-emergence from the shadows. I sang Villains, by Madalen Duke, and My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion. I did not sing Villains as well as I would have liked, getting used to a new venue and mic and sound system and performance floor. It wasn’t horrible, but that…
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I had a good thought for tonight but now I am fragmented; my thoughts are multifactorial. I don’t even know where to start. Most of the time I just dive into work, this keeps me on a path. At Sacred Heart I was recently recognized for my talent at patient care. The patient died but…
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Saw my doctor yesterday morning. She’s new to me, I’ve only met her once before. She’s my primary care provider, not a psychiatrist. I’m a wimp for blood draws. But I had to go to the lab for it. One time I fainted, feeling terribly woozy and lightheaded right beforehand. It doesn’t hurt that bad…
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This weekend marks the close of the Winter I quarter. Monday begins Winter II, and an official halfway point towards this master’s degree. There is Spring 1 after that, and the last time I will have two classes at a time. I will have only one per quarter starting Spring II. I will be finished…
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The last week of the winter I quarter. Final papers, projects, all due by the end of the week. There is literally no turn around time – winter II starts Monday. Sunday night, really. That’s when the classes appear in canvas and I get right to work. It is all accelerated and I like it…
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“What do you think Dr. P? Did you imagine me capable of this?” “How about you, Shirley? – you were the one who told me to take classes again.” I think about them sometimes. The staff and other patients in the hospital with me. Shirley was a nurse who dealt with my sleepwalking, gave me…
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I have daymares. No nightmares in awhile. I take prazosin, for nightmares. I was always kind of skeptical of that – how can a pill get rid of dreams, specifically, the nightmare variety? It probably can’t – the placebo does most of the work when it comes to a lot of meds. We believe it…
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Maybe something is changing. Even if just a little. I have so much pent-up energy and my bones are sizzling. I used ativan, melatonin, vistaril, and gabapentin to force myself to sleep before work. On my way to work, I drove by the mental hospital as I always do and this time, not the panic…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 