Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I had a good thought for tonight but now I am fragmented; my thoughts are multifactorial.

I don’t even know where to start. Most of the time I just dive into work, this keeps me on a path.

At Sacred Heart I was recently recognized for my talent at patient care. The patient died but their family said it would have been awful without me there.

Another patient told me as I was getting their vitals that they wanted to jump off a bridge. I felt that, deep in my core. The doctor ordered that she be a one on one, and my coworker will be the one sitting. That leaves me the floor, but that is by design.

I can’t sit. I did say something though, to the patient.

“I’ve been where you are. I’ve actually been detained.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. I’m so sorry the nightmare you’re living. But there’s a lot of people and resources here that can help you. So, you can’t stop fighting for yourself, okay?”

She nodded, but I don’t know if my moment of self-disclosure will have an effect. It doesn’t have to, I am not ego-driven. But as far as information goes, it counts for something. A lot of us are very fucked up.