mental illness
-
In July 2024, I was violently detained and hospitalized for suicide and later, completed an Intensive Outpatient mental health program as the year ended. I remember that during the program, I was quite anxious about the upcoming holidays because I was not living in my house. Every day, I wrote here and in a journal,…
-
The fundraiser flyer has been released, and I shared it all over my newly created Instagram as well as my Facebook. I brought in a lot of business to Nyne at the drag show two weeks ago, and I’m hoping to get everyone to come out again. More than before. This fundraiser is a big…
-
I had a good thought for tonight but now I am fragmented; my thoughts are multifactorial. I don’t even know where to start. Most of the time I just dive into work, this keeps me on a path. At Sacred Heart I was recently recognized for my talent at patient care. The patient died but…
-
This weekend marks the close of the Winter I quarter. Monday begins Winter II, and an official halfway point towards this master’s degree. There is Spring 1 after that, and the last time I will have two classes at a time. I will have only one per quarter starting Spring II. I will be finished…
-
“What do you think Dr. P? Did you imagine me capable of this?” “How about you, Shirley? – you were the one who told me to take classes again.” I think about them sometimes. The staff and other patients in the hospital with me. Shirley was a nurse who dealt with my sleepwalking, gave me…
-
I have daymares. No nightmares in awhile. I take prazosin, for nightmares. I was always kind of skeptical of that – how can a pill get rid of dreams, specifically, the nightmare variety? It probably can’t – the placebo does most of the work when it comes to a lot of meds. We believe it…
-
“I’ll never speak on this again. Looks like I’m attention seeking, I know that’s what you’re all thinking.” “No, we’re not. We think you’re in great danger of hurting yourself,” Dr. P said. I sat in the turtle suit that seemed to swallow me whole. It was far too big. They took my clothes, everything…
-
Heavy flashbacks tonight. I go back in time, my heart races, I’m flooded with memories that cause physical pain. It’s hard to concentrate. I’m so consumed sometimes. I want to talk to the doctor about it but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know that anything can really be done about it. I…
-
I stood my ground, I said no, and left the room. A patient had a PEG tube and couldn’t stop fiddling and playing with it. I cleaned him up and got him back in the bed, but he still would not stop going for it. I tried to talk him out of it; I tried…
-
I have not been very present. Trying to combat that with mindfulness. Christmas came and went and as per usual, my brother never came with the wife and kids, but it was my mom who canceled and postponed this time. Now they are slated to come end of the month. I will be at work.…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 