Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I’ve caught up on my meds. I’m feeling rather turbo charged despite a lack of sleep and living on mostly chocolate the last few days.

The PTSD symptoms are still ever present. I saw a rust-colored car and immediately felt short of breath and my heart beat faster. Rust is the color of the elopement scrubs at the hospital.

I’m ahead of schedule in my grad program. I’ve nearly completed two quarters. This week I wrote two papers, created a fact sheet on a public health policy, and will make a video recording in which I argue for a chosen public health policy currently under debate.

I would rather pick a policy I’m hotly against, as there is one on the ballot for the current local election cycle.

Resolution 8201 takes payroll tax dollars that fund the socialized long term care program managed by the state and opens those dollars to investment in the stock market and private companies. Yes, in the short term, one can make a lot of money on stocks. During downturns, we’ll be screwed. Gambling tax dollars on a shaky foundation is stupid as fuck to me. So far, it appears a lot of people are on board with this dumb idea, including the nurses union, firefighters union, and even the governor, who I voted for. I’m definitely voting no. But it looks like it will pass.

This says a lot about me, though. I’m staunchly progressive, democrats don’t lean left enough for me.

I had to pick a completely different policy as it has to be something I favor. Also currently under debate is a state sponsored health insurance program similar to our publicly funded long-term care program. Fighting for a universal healthcare system at a time our public health infrastructure is crumbling is SO Washington.

I am so lucky I don’t have to worry about healthcare. I get it all from the VA. I need to call my prescriber this morning. I don’t know what else to do with these PTSD symptoms. I don’t know if I need a med change or more counseling or some DBT or what. I still have my DBT book from IOP. I refer to it pretty often when I’m feeling defeated and stupid and like I’m losing all the skills and new thoughts I worked so hard to achieve.