Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I still cannot fucking believe it. I am reeling from the way I found out I got my 100% – seeing an impending deposit for back pay in my bank app. When I went on VA.gov and signed in, there it was – right under my name, my new service connection: 100%.

This is life changing. I now have access to specific benefits I didn’t have before as a 70% service-connected veteran. I have free life insurance, if I want it. I have access to any military base again – this is handy for tax free shopping. I have free long term care coverage without copays at any VA facility or home. I think this translates to civilian facilities too but that’s part of expanded access to community care networks under the Biden administration’s PACT Act. That Act expanded all kinds of services to veterans who might not have been eligible before, including community care services. My ambulance ride when the cops dragged me out of my apartment – covered. It was a hassle to get the ambulance service to understand that but eventually they billed the VA successfully.

I already called the university to ask if there was any tuition assistance for those at 100%. There is not, and I missed the window for scholarships, besides the Tillman one, and I already put in for that. I should hear back on that soon. I’m still trying to figure out where to find money for grad school.

I called the county assessor’s office to ask about property tax exemption, but there is also an income requirement for that, and I make a little too much.

My monthly compensation at 100% service connection is just under $4000 a month. At 70% it was just under $1800 a month. This is particularly life changing. I paid off my tax bill yesterday. Paid some of my credit card. Stashed the rest in savings.

I owe Vets Guardian, the consultants I hired for my claim, roughly 10k for their services. That’s half the new amount for 10 months. Half the new amount is about $1000, as my total increase is a little over $2000 per month. Hiring them was absolutely worth it. A lifetime of benefits and compensation for 10 months of payments is an incredibly good deal.

Life is getting ever more expensive. I’m trying really hard to be grateful. Every therapist and doctor tells me to focus on what I have. I’m supposed to practice being more grateful. And it’s true, I’m better off than a lot of people. It can be so hard to remember that I have resources and support – mainly through VA – that others just don’t have. I’m never truly out of the woods; I’ve learned that about myself. But at least now I’m not running from a Big Bad Wolf.

He’ll be back. He always comes back.