Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I settled on a second song. Remember Black Mirror? In particular, the second episode titled 15 Million Merits. It featured a singing contest and the character in the show sang Anyone Who Knows What Love Is, by Irma Thomas. It’s old. And unsettling. Black Mirror would continue to feature the song as an easter egg throughout the show, all the way up to the most recent season.

The song is simple enough and I’ve sung it at karaoke before. It’s haunting and easy to sing and will be fun to get expressive. The other song, Journey to the Past, has a more upbeat flare and I’ve been approved by the director to use it for my solo audition with the choir.

Music is apparently what I cling to in times of both illness and health. My mental health is better but I am reminded of the costs daily. I made a cup of tea for a patient and had a flashback that I was back in the mental hospital, sipping an apple tea the nurse had made for me. I don’t even drink tea, I much prefer coffee.

Never again, I tell myself. Never again sucked into a system that strips you of rights and dignity for the sake of “safety.”

But I do need to call my doctor. I do need those meds.