Documenting my journey through the mental health system

People who say they have no regrets are liars. Everyone regrets something, everyone wishes for a chance to fix that one mistake…

I get down on myself hard sometimes, dwelling on mistakes and regrets. My bipolar brain has me remembering all my efforts, sometimes driven by manic urges and delusions, and I’m left with this – I am not a failure, but I’m not where I wanted to be or imagined I’d one day be. I fear mediocrity and my regrets center on failure and mediocrity. I tried, no one can say I didn’t try. Most people will have regrets but I don’t think it’s normal to dwell on them and that’s what I do.

My throat hurts and it hurts to swallow and I’m still coughing and I can’t sing. My 40 years of life is almost 41. I don’t know what to do about the guilt and regret for all the failure. I’m supposed to be less hard on myself.