Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I talked to my testosterone prescriber the other day. Point blank told her they’re phasing out gender-affirming care, I want to stockpile my testosterone. This means I’d have to switch back to vials. She pointed out the same thing I noticed in the official memo, which was that current patients receiving the care will continue to receive the care. Additionally, it’s not the trans men they notice or care about. It’s the trans women they’re after. That’s a good fucking point, I thought. She assured me she’d stay in consistent communication, and we would come up with a plan should the worst happen – I lose my access.

Everything is slowly becoming more and more oligarchic. Gut social security, destroy entire agencies, ruin Medicaid. They’re taking all of our stuff. Like billionaires do, their parasitic nature makes them addicts of their own insatiable greed. I just got my 100% but I’m really worried about my VA benefits. They’re what’s keeping me alive. Shit’s getting old and we’re only a few months in.

Mood shifts are apparent. I’m trying to stay functional inside an absurd and depressing reality. I take my meds, as friends often ask when I am off. Yes, I took the damn pills. But sometimes they just function as a band-aid for a gunshot wound. Too much real life clouds my vision.