Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I am weary and unmotivated. Tired, but it’s too soon to be tired.

President Musk wants weekly emails of my “accomplishments.” Dude, I am just a CNA at a VA hospital. Do you want a detailed breakdown of patient bowel movements and their color and variety and what got reported to the doctor?

I jest but I can’t really say much more than vague and general things because of HIPAA.

I’m going to play around with it this week. I’ve run some prompts through chatGPT and it brought up CNA specific things I expected but also some newer things like advanced training or leadership. Malicious compliance.

This is class warfare and I’m already sick of it. A power grab in the worst way, because taking the government isn’t enough, it must be destroyed too. The people’s money, painfully and obviously flowing to the top. 8 people have as much wealth as the entire bottom half of the country.

This is also psychological warfare. The point of these emails is to bombard us and wear us down. The lack of leadership and guidance means instability and discord. They say we’re “essential” but nothing can be trusted.

I talked to my former supported employment case manager at the VA on Saturday. “Strange times at the VA,” he said, now a rural health coordinator. I vented. It’s deeply offensive to me a billionaire who has never done a day of service in his entire obscene life has the nerve to ask me, a veteran, about my service to veterans. I cannot get over that.

I told him about my acceptance to grad school and my new quest to find money. I have to call the school in the morning. I have no idea if they even got my FAFSA information. I’m not sure what start date I’m going to take.

He seemed a little worried, like everyone is, about my demanding schedule and my desire to add grad school to the pile. I think I’d do well though. It’s all reading and writing and analyzing, things I can do in my sleep. I have down time at work and more time on the weekends at home as I only do 8 hour shifts half the week. I want to do it and I never imagined I would want anything to do with school again.