Documenting my journey through the mental health system

In my 20s, while being a broke college student, I did a lot of drag.

I had met a drag queen at a show and expressed my own interest in performing. Between music and singing lessons as well as dance, I had a decent background in performing arts. I almost majored in the fine arts, but you don’t need a college degree if you have talent, so I kept my college majors practical and career oriented. I did drag on weekdays, weekends, and joined the Imperial Sovereign Court, an international gay rights organization with a local chapter. I ran as a debutante, an office holder position, and was elected. I was crowned debutante at a gay bar known as Dempsey’s Brass Rail.

Then I slowly stopped performing…I was working and trying not to be broke all the time and always depressed, more and more each day. Soon I couldn’t imagine doing it or anything I once enjoyed. Couldn’t afford the things I needed to keep going. The unrelenting poverty was a major driver of my manic depression. I was forcibly detained in 2014, suicidal, delusional, and paranoid.

Now I’d like to make a comeback. The timing is nuts; I’m already in a choir while working more than full time and mired in grad school. But I must sing. I perform my numbers by actually singing them.

They want singers for Pride and other events. I’m in contact with the organization behind the Pride parade and festival. There is also a choir I can join but not till late summer. So, I cannot WAIT for Pride when I get up on stage dressed as Rose and sing My Heart Will Go On.

At least that’s my plan right now. I have so many plans and songs. In the meantime, I make recordings on smule and analyze my voice for the mistakes and areas I need to work on. Singing gives me a rush, a high. And I’m pretty good at it.