Documenting my journey through the mental health system

Another one bites the dust.

Two deaths in a week at the VA, and one of them was a full code. They still lost him.

My humor is dark. Night shift humor is dark. This is true across medical, fire, police, and certain other professions that deal with people at their worst or at least, at their end. And especially so if those people also work the graveyard shift. It isn’t called gallows humor for nothing.

During the height of COVID, in an attempt to cope with all the death around us, we made bets on who would die next. I know, it’s horrible. No actual money was exchanged or anything like that, but we giggled constantly at our forbidden humor. It isn’t funny to anyone but us.

Humor is a huge source of coping for me. I love to scroll the reels for comedians and find their specials. I saw Gianmarco Soresi at the comedy club downtown. He’s one of my favorites and sings as well, my other source of cope.

I’m in this choir and we meet to practice Thursdays. It’s part of a music academy. So I am technically a student. I am hoping to learn to read music better. I know I don’t really have time – I’m already in school and work two jobs and run a rental property and have to take care of home and cats and everything else…but I needed something for me. Something that isn’t work or healthcare related, like this public health master’s. Singing gives me a high like no other. I am pretty good at it too.