Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I haven’t been eating or sleeping that much. I feel like I don’t need as much sleep as other people and my energy levels stay high. I take my meds for sleep, but they only work for a few hours. I wake up bleary but unable to get back to sleep. I still have unsettling dreams, despite the prazosin medication, but I just take it anyway. What’s one more pill?

Tomorrow if I can’t sleep, I’m using my ativan and lunesta together. That should guarantee a solid 6 hours.

I can hear Dr Black now. Giving me a lot of education on bipolar highs and lows and how sleep is a huge indicator of mood. I’m crazy, not stupid – I know I need to sleep, I know I need to eat, or I go manic. Sometimes depressed, but lack of sleep for me means hypomania.

And I am certain I am perfectly capable of working two jobs and pursuing a master’s and revamping my house for move-in. I feel like I can do a lot more than most people. I’m certain I am smarter than most too. I don’t need as much sleep as others, and I see things other people don’t see and can’t imagine.