medication
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I forgot my meds today. It may be all my imagination, but I swear I can feel it. Missing even one day throws me off and makes me depressed. Maybe it’s just placebo but what difference does it make if the anguish is the same? I did see Ceila and the new baby last night…
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So, I haven’t been able to sing since I nailed My Heart Will Go On on the cruise ship. And I did nail it too. My version of pneumonia started about a day after mom’s, when we got off the boat and made it to the hotel. I had puking, fever, coughing, headache. That was…
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My coworker: “the world is not ending.” Me: “but it is though…” I’ve been dealing with nagging anxiety and irritable depression. Even here at work, I got snappy and pissed off about a stupid mistake. I tried really hard to avoid that mistake in the first place. Sort of blew up. I was so frustrated…
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Some days, the PTSD is strong. My mind perseverates on trauma, memories, pain. Pain I’ve worked really hard to work through, to come to terms with. But sometimes it hurts all over again. Maybe it’s because I saw the psych nurse practitioner who manages my meds. I told him I can’t even miss a day,…
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I downgraded…a low mood post theater singing…hard to concentrate, even harder to write. Tormented by rapid thoughts of all the things I fear and all the fears everyone else has too. This is what a dying empire looks like. I am better now. I got caught up on my meds. I had missed a couple…
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The fundraiser flyer has been released, and I shared it all over my newly created Instagram as well as my Facebook. I brought in a lot of business to Nyne at the drag show two weeks ago, and I’m hoping to get everyone to come out again. More than before. This fundraiser is a big…
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Wednesday was my stage debut, my re-emergence from the shadows. I sang Villains, by Madalen Duke, and My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion. I did not sing Villains as well as I would have liked, getting used to a new venue and mic and sound system and performance floor. It wasn’t horrible, but that…
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This weekend marks the close of the Winter I quarter. Monday begins Winter II, and an official halfway point towards this master’s degree. There is Spring 1 after that, and the last time I will have two classes at a time. I will have only one per quarter starting Spring II. I will be finished…
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Folding towels. That’s all he does. Some things are worse than death. L:ike growing old. Or dementia. I’ve worked with a lot of old people in my time as a CNA. Thousands, by now. And even without dementia, growing old is no picnic. It is pain, slowness, weakness, and all kinds of medical issues. But…
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The last week of the winter I quarter. Final papers, projects, all due by the end of the week. There is literally no turn around time – winter II starts Monday. Sunday night, really. That’s when the classes appear in canvas and I get right to work. It is all accelerated and I like it…
