Documenting my journey through the mental health system

Wednesday was my stage debut, my re-emergence from the shadows. I sang Villains, by Madalen Duke, and My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion. I did not sing Villains as well as I would have liked, getting used to a new venue and mic and sound system and performance floor. It wasn’t horrible, but that song is tricky! I can sing tenor and soprano well; the middle alto notes are the hardest.

The second number, My Heart Will Go On, came out excellent! I made one mistake and no one else even noticed. I was tipped SO MANY dollars and used them to tip other performers. I networked – making new drag friends and seeing old. Freedom Rights and I were debutantes together years ago, and she never quit. She is the empress now! I would like to eventually be considered for the weekend shows. Maybe one or two a month at first. It takes longer to prepare because I want to sing well and I insist on lots of practice.

Slowly but surely, I’ll expand my drag/singing portfolio. Ceila and my brother both filmed my two performances so I have them from two different angles. I take video stills from them to have some images of myself in drag. There’s not a lot of that yet. And my Instagram is a mess – it was made by my publisher in an attempt to sell my book. Now I’m thinking of repurposing it. Or making a new one. I don’t know. I never used much social media and I’m not very good at it besides.

I’ve not just re-emerged onto stage, but onto life itself. For once, my bipolar disorder is managed well enough I can venture out into those things I used to do well. I can’t miss the meds. That part is very important. If I stay this stable, maybe I can really do something with this singing voice. All that gives me joy outside work is in singing.