Documenting my journey through the mental health system

My heart constricts in my chest, and my breath shortens as I go through triggers in the environment. I perseverate on memories and traumas, and my body goes through it all over again. I’m so frustrated at what feels like a never-ending battle. I’m not supposed to fight it but comfort the painful feelings and “sit” with them. I know that but I don’t know if I can do it by myself, or at all.

Yesterday I did sleep though, hard. I took meds and extra Hydroxyzine, because I can. A full 100 mg. With the additional sleep meds Gabapentin and Prazosin to keep me asleep.

I’ve only needed Ativan a couple times in the last few weeks. I try to be very sparing with it. Sometimes it’s the only way.