Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I called Dr Black a couple times this week but did not get through and I didn’t leave a message, I always feel stupid when I do. Finally, yesterday I decided to leave a message if she didn’t answer and she didn’t so I rambled into the phone to call me back when she could and quickly hung up.

I talked to one of the program directors at my university. She said my first two classes are perfect for getting an idea of what exactly is public health. No separate expenses for books, it is included in my tuition. I supposed I’ll be paying that bill this week. Then I am truly committed. She said she might be one of my teachers at some point, and after the phone call I felt a little better about starting Monday. I’m still terrified, and thought of another question later but overall, I’m not as panicky as I was about this.

Just a little panicky. I have a lot of apprehension about my ability to keep up. There is also the challenge of coming up with your own research questions and work. I haven’t done that in years. The whole program is accelerated so I’m done in a year and a half. Assuming it isn’t too fast for me. Assuming the applied practice experience doesn’t stop me in the end, like last time.

I’m just so nervous.