Documenting my journey through the mental health system

Couldn’t sleep today. Still kind of reverberating from yesterday’s unexpected and intense trigger. I had a lot of flashbacks, dissociation. Unable to eat anything.

But tonight is my first night at my new job. I’m looking forward to the distraction, my mind will hopefully be focused on learning my new floor, and not on painful flashbacks, blanking out, and hearing voices randomly talking to me.

Yes, I still hear voices. I call them Jack and Jackie. I also hear buzzing, ringing, whispering, clicking, and sometimes music.

Learning a new unit is fairly straightforward. It’s a matter of learning where all the stuff is located. The hard part is going to be learning their charting software. I know a lot of systems, but not epic.

For now, distraction and mood momentum are my current coping skills. The therapist will ask. Despite no sleep, my energy is good. I’m nervous and anxious and wired, but much less depressed.