Documenting my journey through the mental health system

I have a confession to make – I’ve missed several doses of my evening Lamictal (the mood stabilizer) over the past few weeks. I’ve had issues with med compliance in the past. Whether is work schedules interfering with med times, or feeling really good and not wanting it to bring me down from hypomania or even psychotic mania. I know I shouldn’t fuck around like this.

It’s hard to take the pill. It’s chalky and catches on my tongue, gets stuck to the roof of my mouth. It’s got the most foul taste, gag inducing, and sometimes I gag and choke on it trying to get it down and I end up spitting it out. Then I think to myself “fuck that. I’ll try again tomorrow. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I already know the answer to that.

I sang I Dreamed a Dream from Les Mis on Saturday night at one of my favorite karaoke bars. People held up their phones like we used to do with lighters and even sang along a bit. When I finished, the bar erupted. I didn’t think it was my best, but they seemed to love it. Someone bought me a drink and a few people came up to give me a high five or a “nice job.” It’s a common talent, but it’s mine – I have a unique soprano voice.

I only needed two hours of sleep today.