VA

  • Social Despair

    Social Despair

    I don’t even know what to say. My meds keep me going, that is about it. I’m trying to focus on what I can control, like IOP taught me. I like exerting control over my environment, and I’ve been preparing my house for eventual move-in. I got my room painted, two different shades of blue.

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  • Great Purge

    Great Purge

    The Great Purge continues. Thousands of layoffs across crucial people’s services – social security, FDA…and soon the VA. Today they announced they planned to cut 80k jobs, to pre-2019 levels, before the PACT act and increased services to veterans affected by burn pits, among other things. Cutting 80k people would be devastating to veterans and

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  • Psychological Warfare

    I am weary and unmotivated. Tired, but it’s too soon to be tired. President Musk wants weekly emails of my “accomplishments.” Dude, I am just a CNA at a VA hospital. Do you want a detailed breakdown of patient bowel movements and their color and variety and what got reported to the doctor? I jest

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  • Big Bad Wolf

    Big Bad Wolf

    I still cannot fucking believe it. I am reeling from the way I found out I got my 100% – seeing an impending deposit for back pay in my bank app. When I went on VA.gov and signed in, there it was – right under my name, my new service connection: 100%. This is life

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  • Finally, Some Good News

    I filed a supplemental claim for my VA disability rating to be increased from 70%. I was really hoping for the 100%. I checked my bank app like I always do and there was a pending deposit for 10,000 dollars from VA. This made me think what the fuck…not connecting the dots. Then I checked

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  • White Knuckle

    My mood is so intensely labile. I spend nights at work cracking bad jokes, riffing on everyone around me and generally being quite ornery. I spend days often staring into space, at the wall, or overcome with sadness. But at least that’s better than doomscrolling, right? I swing like a pendulum and I have to

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  • Polar Vortex

    Polar Vortex

    A polar vortex is moving through Washington, specifically, Eastern Washington and Idaho. It has been so bitterly cold, down to 1 or 2 degrees Fahrenheit. I constantly worry about the pipes freezing at either of my two properties when the weather gets this absurdly cold. I sound like a broken record reminding my tenants to

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  • Urban Dreams

    Urban Dreams

    Well, it’s done. I got the sex change form notarized, filled out the mail order form, made a money order for 25 bucks, made a copy of my name change document from 2008, and mailed it all to the department of health statistics. I should be grateful I’m even able to do this under current

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  • I no Longer Exist

    I no Longer Exist

    Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government – The White House This was in my email today. I’ve been written out of existence. I honestly can’t remember what my employee records say. Something’s up with the eOPF government employee records site. They should say male but it’s possible

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  • Coming Out

    I have agonized over this post, and how to write it, since I started the blog back in August (2024). It never seemed relevant. I hoped it wouldn’t be relevant. But if I can’t discuss it here, I might as well stop writing. I’m a trans man. I was born female. I served in the

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