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I just got in a terrible fight with my mother. I was a dick, yes. I don’t even know where else to start. I hate her passive aggressive victim complex. I called her out on it, called her out on the way she talks about my house – my only accomplishment in life it feels…
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I have agonized over this post, and how to write it, since I started the blog back in August (2024). It never seemed relevant. I hoped it wouldn’t be relevant. But if I can’t discuss it here, I might as well stop writing. I’m a trans man. I was born female. I served in the…
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My catatonic patient is moving and responding to questions, albeit slowly. Tonight, I could barely keep him in the bed, he was jumping around so much. Everyone is talking about the email with included resignation letter from the nutcase-in-chief titled “Fork in the Road.” It’s really quite comical. He doesn’t have the power to unilaterally…
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Shit is getting real. As you might recall, I am a federal employee at the Department of Veterans Affairs. A CNA (nurse assistant) in the rehab and hospice unit at my local VA hospital. Today, we got an email from the Office of Personnel Management. During the first week of his administration, President Trump issued…
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I did a thing. A rather major thing. I’ve alluded to it in previous posts, but did not want to say anything here or to anyone for fear of jinxing myself. I am not a superstitious man but I’ve done something I never imagined I’d be able to do again and I didn’t want to…
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I did something tonight I never thought I’d be able to do again. I am kind of freaking out. Only two people know anything at all. I am on an upward spin.
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A little glimpse of dysfunction into my family – we still have not got together for Christmas/New Years. The several attempts led to postponements over illness in my brother Sam’s family, with his wife and my diabetic nephew getting sick. My youngest brother George breaking his foot and being really drunk. I have no idea…
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I have had to sit with a lot of discomfort for the last few days. It’s forced me to think a lot about the DBT skills I’m supposed to use in response to these painful feelings – distraction, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) build mastery, and just plain sitting with the shitty feelings. I also…
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I have a catatonic patient. He hasn’t moved much in days, other than spontaneous leg movements and occasionally opening his eyes. He has late onset schizophrenia and is a veteran like me. I experienced catatonia myself. On the roller coaster ride that is bipolar, a downward plunge with no rebound pushes me deeper and deeper…
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Sometimes the only things to hold onto are physically within our grasp – my peppermint vodka cocktail, the cat next to me, my new gravity blanket. I am indulging in the DBT skill that is appreciating the small things – glimmers – or opposites of triggers. I have so many, many triggers. For once I…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 