Documenting my journey through the mental health system

Despite school and work, I must sing.

After getting in touch with one of the Pride coordinators, I then got in touch with the Spectrum Singers, a local LGBT choir that does performances throughout the year. They don’t have anything till the next season so I have to wait awhile on that. Which is fine, I am already in a choir and we perform in April. THEN…after dropping off my old debutante coronation dress and crown for display at the Spokane Pride history project, I reached back out to Nova Kaine, my drag mom. She taught me what I know. She isn’t producing shows much anymore, and that makes sense. It’s been ten years. But she told me to contact who did…and so I messaged one of them and she said there’s an open show the second Wednesday of every month. “Would love to have you come out!”

All I got is a voice and the Kaine name. I plan to weasel my way back into a whole new class of queens. I am an older, experienced queen, a crown holder, and a Kaine. That name is everything. It commands respect.

Drag is hard. Lots of costuming, makeup. I enjoy it, assuming you have the money to buy what you need. Lots of dancing. The trick will be to do all that and sing. I have lots of practicing to do. I practice the singing most of all. Cannot miss a note. Cannot miss a word. I hate starting a verse and the first word is missed or too quiet. Makes the whole song sound unprofessional.

I am so excited, I won’t be able to sleep. I may even force my mother to listen to me practicing later this morning.

My coworkers have all been thoroughly informed on time and location. I’ve messaged the few close friends I have, like Ceila, Mike, and JP, and even a few others I don’t see as often. They all say they will come! In the past I’ve been roundly disappointed by friends and people who don’t do what they say they will do but maybe…even if it was just a few people I know I would be happy. I’m performing with a group I don’t know, a whole new cohort, and I only have one shot to make it count, to be invited back. I have to prove I know what I’m doing and know how to entertain.

My style of drag is different, too. Always was. I don’t really do the big hair or scantily-clad style. Not knocking it, those who do are amazing and I’ve seen some stunning acts. I prefer a more elevated, elegant look, with elaborate gowns and costumes, headpieces, jewels, and beautiful songs I sing myself. Next I will post some of the pictures I have in drag. There are not many – back then smartphones weren’t really ubiquitous yet. But I did dress up as Rose from Titanic on a cruise a few years ago and have some stunning professional photos of it.