Documenting my journey through the mental health system

Saw my doctor yesterday morning. She’s new to me, I’ve only met her once before. She’s my primary care provider, not a psychiatrist.

I’m a wimp for blood draws. But I had to go to the lab for it. One time I fainted, feeling terribly woozy and lightheaded right beforehand. It doesn’t hurt that bad but just typing about it makes my hands sweaty.

My labs are normal except for elevated testosterone. I expected that, I’m on testosterone. I take an auto-injector of 50mL every week.

I like it like that, being a little elevated. I won’t lie. It improves my mood. I feel more energy. I’ve been riding a hypomanic wave. How else to explain working two jobs, singing in a choir, and grad school? Then there is everything else, like taking care of my house and cats. I don’t know how long I can keep this up, how long the wave will last. I know as long as I stay on my meds the highs and lows aren’t as intense.