mental health
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A polar vortex is moving through Washington, specifically, Eastern Washington and Idaho. It has been so bitterly cold, down to 1 or 2 degrees Fahrenheit. I constantly worry about the pipes freezing at either of my two properties when the weather gets this absurdly cold. I sound like a broken record reminding my tenants to…
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Well, it’s done. I got the sex change form notarized, filled out the mail order form, made a money order for 25 bucks, made a copy of my name change document from 2008, and mailed it all to the department of health statistics. I should be grateful I’m even able to do this under current…
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A little glimpse of dysfunction into my family – we still have not got together for Christmas/New Years. The several attempts led to postponements over illness in my brother Sam’s family, with his wife and my diabetic nephew getting sick. My youngest brother George breaking his foot and being really drunk. I have no idea…
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I have had to sit with a lot of discomfort for the last few days. It’s forced me to think a lot about the DBT skills I’m supposed to use in response to these painful feelings – distraction, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) build mastery, and just plain sitting with the shitty feelings. I also…
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Sometimes the only things to hold onto are physically within our grasp – my peppermint vodka cocktail, the cat next to me, my new gravity blanket. I am indulging in the DBT skill that is appreciating the small things – glimmers – or opposites of triggers. I have so many, many triggers. For once I…
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Something is happening but I dare not say what, for fear of ruining it. The DIY detox seems to have gone well. As far as I can tell, my brother hasn’t had a drink since last Thursday. I metered out to him four ativan on day one, three on day two, three on day three…
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Well, we’re doing it. A little DIY detox. I did some research. The best thing to do is get as far into withdrawals as possible. After that, four milligrams of Ativan, as well as a B complex vitamin and a benzo-free anti-anxiety med, Hydroxyzine. Maybe a sleeping pill but depends – those can lower respirations…
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I have not been to my house to see my mom. Or the store for more lemonade. I haven’t picked up the rent from one of my tenants. They even called to see if I was okay. Yes, I said…just catching up with things and getting adjusted to a new schedule and feeling rather unmotivated…
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For now, my “journey” through both civilian and veteran mental health systems is at the maintenance phase. I have graduated IOP as of the end of the year. I could have done more time and the VA likely would have paid for it, but I felt ready, and I also liked how it closed out…
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A bittersweet day. I finished my episode of care with Dr Black and after that, went to my last day of IOP, where I graduated silently. I have all kinds of mixed emotions. At least I am feeling again, at least somewhat. I feel a nervous sense of trepidation, like a kid learning to ride…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 