medication

  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 8, Distress Tolerance

    I’m already at my two month mark for IOP. I can’t believe it. Today started the module I’ve been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the most – distress tolerance. As Dr Black and the therapist in IOP explain it – emotion regulation is for day to day life and utilizing coping skills. Distress tolerance

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 7, Mindfulness

    I had to duck out of IOP early today – my lack of a need for sleep finally seemed to be catching up with me. I worked two extra shifts Friday and Saturday nights, trying to expend the energy in a productive manner, and only slept a few hours Sunday before coming back in for

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  • Hypomania, IOP assessment

    Hypomania, IOP assessment

    Trying to sum up the last few days is difficult. My mind has been all over the place, my energy high, my libido even higher. We closed out emotion regulation in IOP, the end of week six for me. Riley the therapist wanted to see me after. I’m at roughly the one-month mark and it

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 6, Emotion Regulation, Cope Ahead

    I can hardly believe it, but I am nearly half completed with IOP. That comes with a lot of feelings – I’m worried I have not learned and properly incorporated the material enough or as well as the others, and I’m scared at the thought of being cut loose. I have to do this, I

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  • “Knock knock…nursing!”

    “Knock knock…nursing!”

    I am exhausted! But I am also damn good at what I do. I didn’t mean to be, it just happened organically. I’ve been at my local VA hospital as a lowly CNA for ten years, with the help of supported employment and a case manager. I started working for an agency back in January

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  • Opposite of Emotion

    Opposite of Emotion

    Opposite of emotion – when feeling distressing emotions, practice a behavior that is opposite to that emotion or feeling. When depressed, force yourself to distract, go for a walk, listen to music, talk to someone (damn near impossible for me but I’m working on it). That was today’s IOP DBT skill. I felt overwhelmed in

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  • The Wall

    The Wall

    IOP was so hard. I am overwhelmed. I question my ability to do this. I question any of it will work. I became slightly overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t quite articulate how I was feeling. I was starting to open up a little bit more (it’s extremely difficult for me to be vulnerable with a

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  • Adrenaline Rush

    Adrenaline Rush

    Hypomania continues unabated. I have to work hard to avoid rash decisions or avoid decisions altogether. I have to try and remember to have safe sex. I have to avoid spending money. I don’t really trust myself. With heavy medication, I managed 5 hours of sleep today. That’s pretty good for me. IOP tomorrow and

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 5, Attending to Relationships

    Emotion regulation continued – in DBT therapy, attending to relationships fosters improved emotion regulation. This relates to last week’s emotion regulation core concept – building positive experiences. The therapist talked about the two extremes – the dialectical opposites – in DBT. There’s being too open, no boundaries, and then the other end, rigid boundaries, isolationist

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  • Killing Time

    Killing Time

    I managed to sleep with the assistance of the following medications: melatonin, vistaril, gabapentin, and ativan. That was Thursday – I went to bed at about 4pm and woke up at 10:30pm, getting a whopping six hours of sleep, and I only woke up once in that time. Then I went and picked up my

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