medication
-
This is so fucked up. It is happening all over again. I’m trying to face and accept the fact it’s going to keep happening. I have another patient in restraints and this time I had to help restrain him. I did everything I could to avoid it. For five hours I tried redirection, distraction, calming
-
For now, my “journey” through both civilian and veteran mental health systems is at the maintenance phase. I have graduated IOP as of the end of the year. I could have done more time and the VA likely would have paid for it, but I felt ready, and I also liked how it closed out
-
A bittersweet day. I finished my episode of care with Dr Black and after that, went to my last day of IOP, where I graduated silently. I have all kinds of mixed emotions. At least I am feeling again, at least somewhat. I feel a nervous sense of trepidation, like a kid learning to ride
-
Well that didn’t take long. At first I was a rock star. I came on the floor and it was a madhouse. There were several call lights at once and an incoming admit. I answered the lights and attempted to seek out the person I was relieving to get a report. The admit came, alcoholic
-
I had a couple days off, but my weekend was rough. I started getting a headache Friday afternoon which morphed into a migraine later. I took Advil and Ativan, knowing it was probably from lack of sleep – I had worked the night before and had not been to bed yet. I always puke when
-
The core of it, the core of so much suffering, aggravation, anxiety, and despair, is the inner critic – that voice inside that tells you how stupid and ugly and unlikable you are, how you never get anything right, how you’ll always be a failure. It’s a shadow that follows you around, no one can
-
My weekend was rough. I did not sleep much before work Saturday but I made it to work. It is very surreal, this new job. I’ll get into that in a bit. My mother came back Sunday morning and I picked her up from the airport. I had been at my house, giving it a
-
Sometimes I get so discouraged. In IOP, in work, in life, in everything. Today I felt discouraged in IOP. I have before, worried it was too much to take in at once, that I would not be able to get better at the different coping skills, that others would get better while I stagnated. I
-
After IOP Thursday, the therapist wanted to meet with me for my two month assessment. It has gone by fast. “How do you feel therapy has gone? Is there anything you need help with specifically?” “At first I was overwhelmed with the material and I felt like I wouldn’t be able to incorporate it or
-
I got decent sleep today, with medication I slept seven hours and only woke up twice. I had a terrible dream despite the prazosin medication I take for nightmares. This wasn’t so much a nightmare as it was a memory. I dreamed I woke up tied to a bed in the hospital, and subsequently fighting
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 