medication
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I spent 150 dollars on temu. I got 6 free items, I have to claim them one a day, one at a time. I fuckin love Temu. I am blank and feel weird and floaty. I’m trying to stay grounded by focusing on my house, so a lot of what I got on temu was…
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Jesus Christ the flashbacks…I am lost in my head so often. Stuck in memories, stuck in the past. The juxtaposition of bipolar with PTSD is painful and aggravating and weird. A doctor found that this PTSD profoundly affects my life. Pile on a manic or depressive episode and I’m suddenly dealing with intrusive thoughts and…
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I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. I woke up late and had to rush to work late. I barely got a cup of coffee in me! Haven’t slept much, or eaten much, in several days. I think I will sleep okay today. With meds. There is one nurse that falls…
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I talked to my testosterone prescriber the other day. Point blank told her they’re phasing out gender-affirming care, I want to stockpile my testosterone. This means I’d have to switch back to vials. She pointed out the same thing I noticed in the official memo, which was that current patients receiving the care will continue…
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I have felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I can’t eat, could hardly sleep. I can’t get my mind off the VA and my job and my healthcare and the fact a far right, obsessively anti-LGBT oligarchy is taking over. I haven’t heard back from my provider yet, so I’m calling back today after work.…
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I always knew this day would come, and it didn’t take long at all. Got another shitty work email this week. This time, a memo rescinding the VHA directive to provide gender-affirming care to trans vets. Effective immediately, the VA no longer provides gender-affirming care. “Unless such veterans are already receiving care from VA” –…
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I have a confession to make – I’ve missed several doses of my evening Lamictal (the mood stabilizer) over the past few weeks. I’ve had issues with med compliance in the past. Whether is work schedules interfering with med times, or feeling really good and not wanting it to bring me down from hypomania or…
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I haven’t been eating or sleeping that much. I feel like I don’t need as much sleep as other people and my energy levels stay high. I take my meds for sleep, but they only work for a few hours. I wake up bleary but unable to get back to sleep. I still have unsettling…
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My book encompasses the first 100 or so posts of this blog, give or take. I’ve compiled it, formatted it, proofread it, and now it is with the publisher. They do their own editing and formatting to make it look good in book form. I have to pick the typeset I want. Soon I also…
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I can’t get them out of my head, the terrible flashbacks. A violent detainment, struggling in restraints, paranoid and angry and suicidal. Feeling a profound fear that something much worse than death was going to happen to me. Feeling intense anger as I was drugged with a shot to my shoulder. Feeling a profound sense…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 