• Urban Dreams

    Urban Dreams

    Well, it’s done. I got the sex change form notarized, filled out the mail order form, made a money order for 25 bucks, made a copy of my name change document from 2008, and mailed it all to the department of health statistics. I should be grateful I’m even able to do this under current…

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  • I no Longer Exist

    I no Longer Exist

    Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government – The White House This was in my email today. I’ve been written out of existence. I honestly can’t remember what my employee records say. Something’s up with the eOPF government employee records site. They should say male but it’s possible…

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  • A Fucking Fight!

    I just got in a terrible fight with my mother. I was a dick, yes. I don’t even know where else to start. I hate her passive aggressive victim complex. I called her out on it, called her out on the way she talks about my house – my only accomplishment in life it feels…

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  • Coming Out

    I have agonized over this post, and how to write it, since I started the blog back in August (2024). It never seemed relevant. I hoped it wouldn’t be relevant. But if I can’t discuss it here, I might as well stop writing. I’m a trans man. I was born female. I served in the…

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  • Fork in the Road

    Fork in the Road

    My catatonic patient is moving and responding to questions, albeit slowly. Tonight, I could barely keep him in the bed, he was jumping around so much. Everyone is talking about the email with included resignation letter from the nutcase-in-chief titled “Fork in the Road.” It’s really quite comical. He doesn’t have the power to unilaterally…

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  • Toe the Line

    Toe the Line

    Shit is getting real. As you might recall, I am a federal employee at the Department of Veterans Affairs. A CNA (nurse assistant) in the rehab and hospice unit at my local VA hospital. Today, we got an email from the Office of Personnel Management. During the first week of his administration, President Trump issued…

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  • A Way Out

    A Way Out

    I did a thing. A rather major thing. I’ve alluded to it in previous posts, but did not want to say anything here or to anyone for fear of jinxing myself. I am not a superstitious man but I’ve done something I never imagined I’d be able to do again and I didn’t want to…

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  • Precedent

    Precedent

    I did something tonight I never thought I’d be able to do again. I am kind of freaking out. Only two people know anything at all. I am on an upward spin.

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  • Nothing Today

    Nothing Today

    A little glimpse of dysfunction into my family – we still have not got together for Christmas/New Years. The several attempts led to postponements over illness in my brother Sam’s family, with his wife and my diabetic nephew getting sick. My youngest brother George breaking his foot and being really drunk. I have no idea…

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  • Discomfort and Depression

    Discomfort and Depression

    I have had to sit with a lot of discomfort for the last few days. It’s forced me to think a lot about the DBT skills I’m supposed to use in response to these painful feelings – distraction, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) build mastery, and just plain sitting with the shitty feelings. I also…

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