-
I don’t even know what to say. My meds keep me going, that is about it. I’m trying to focus on what I can control, like IOP taught me. I like exerting control over my environment, and I’ve been preparing my house for eventual move-in. I got my room painted, two different shades of blue.…
-
The Great Purge continues. Thousands of layoffs across crucial people’s services – social security, FDA…and soon the VA. Today they announced they planned to cut 80k jobs, to pre-2019 levels, before the PACT act and increased services to veterans affected by burn pits, among other things. Cutting 80k people would be devastating to veterans and…
-
I am weary and unmotivated. Tired, but it’s too soon to be tired. President Musk wants weekly emails of my “accomplishments.” Dude, I am just a CNA at a VA hospital. Do you want a detailed breakdown of patient bowel movements and their color and variety and what got reported to the doctor? I jest…
-
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I hate him. I hate him and I wish he would just fucking DIE. I don’t even want to say what the dream was for fear they will see it and get ideas. Already, they have these plans as part of Project 2025. I dreamt we got yet another…
-
I still cannot fucking believe it. I am reeling from the way I found out I got my 100% – seeing an impending deposit for back pay in my bank app. When I went on VA.gov and signed in, there it was – right under my name, my new service connection: 100%. This is life…
-
The most bizarre feeling – I’ll never get over it – of watching a suicidal patient. That is my role tonight, on my last night before a couple days off. Every time I peek in on him, I’m taken back immediately to the mental hospital, forced to wear an anti-suicide turtle suit, and an aide…
-
At work at Sacred Heart – and flashbacks are not so terrible as they were. When I drove by the mental hospital, I was able to keep breathing and eventually slow my heart. When I saw all the ambulances in the ER bay, I looked away and kept moving. When I got up to the…
-
I can’t get them out of my head, the terrible flashbacks. A violent detainment, struggling in restraints, paranoid and angry and suicidal. Feeling a profound fear that something much worse than death was going to happen to me. Feeling intense anger as I was drugged with a shot to my shoulder. Feeling a profound sense…
-
I am so absolutely offended right now. That is hard to do. It’s disgusting – an unelected, un-American, out of touch billionaire who has never done a day of service in his life has no business asking me, a veteran, about what I do for veterans here at the VA hospital. But President Musk has…
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
