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I’ve completed the health screening for my new part time renal care job. I have latent TB and completed a course of rifampin to ensure I never develop an infection and that always raises eyebrows when you do patient care, so I had to bring all my documentation for that and hope they don’t make…
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Sometimes it feels like that’s all I am – my bipolar disorder. Sometimes it seems like that’s all there is – symptoms and management and doctors and medication and there’s nothing more to me at all.
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From Sunday to Tuesday, I slept two hours. This was shocking to the group in IOP on Monday. Today I finally got some real sleep but only after a couple hours of laying there, my mind going a million miles an hour. I was so tired, sleepy even, working myself to exhaustion and intentionally staying…
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I’m already at my two month mark for IOP. I can’t believe it. Today started the module I’ve been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the most – distress tolerance. As Dr Black and the therapist in IOP explain it – emotion regulation is for day to day life and utilizing coping skills. Distress tolerance…
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Tomorrow is Veterans Day, and though I have IOP and work, I’m going to spend a little time at the VA after IOP for the Veterans Drive Thru Stand Down. It’s a yearly event. There’s sometimes speakers, depending on the weather. They give out food, lunch, resources, and just spend the few hours hanging out.…
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I had a good laugh yesterday when a letter from the mental hospital came. I was curious at first, wondering what on earth they could have to write me about, as opposed to email or call. A survey? I did one of those at discharge. A follow up to see how I’m doing? No, it…
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I can’t believe it, but I finished week seven of intensive outpatient DBT therapy today. The focus is mindfulness for the next few weeks, peppered with shorter concepts to bolster the much larger concept of mindfulness. Today that was gratitude and the “wise mind.” Our minds exist on spectrums. On one end is the strictly…
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The true horror of existence is not the fear of death, but the fear of life. It is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles, the same disappointments, the same pain. It is the fear that nothing will ever change, that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that…
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The meaning of life is to keep doing that which prevents you from killing yourself. – Albert Camus
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I had to duck out of IOP early today – my lack of a need for sleep finally seemed to be catching up with me. I worked two extra shifts Friday and Saturday nights, trying to expend the energy in a productive manner, and only slept a few hours Sunday before coming back in for…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 