writing
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I work too much. I’m aware of that. But I wouldn’t quit my jobs. Even the Sacred Heart one, in which I may be doing my APE project for grad school. It looms in front of me like a mountain, huge and imposing. Last night we had a terrible case of squamous cell carcinoma of
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I’m trying to use coping skills. The little dumb ones, like listening to music, especially during triggers and stress. Writing. You think this blog is cringe? Should see my paper journal. I use grounding when I dissociate – what can I feel? See? Hear? This involves a bit of mindfulness, and I am not always
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I have a manic patient. I am simultaneously triggered and yet in my element. I had so much training. Experience. I was able to calm the patient before sedatives. I told Ceila about the flashbacks. They just don’t stop. Told her about the visions of the future I get, but not in great detail. She
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I’ve completed nearly a week of grad school. The program is public health and is accelerated. So far it has been research practice, reading and writing. I’ve spent time scouring scholarly journals as I have total access to all of them. I’ve taken part in class discussions – conducted online of course – and I’m
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Slowly but surely, I’m slogging through my own book one last time for all the errors. I’m truthfully a little irritated my publisher missed so many. I think he ran it through some software or something. The errors are systematic, and my military discharge date is wrong. In short, there will be a second edition.
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Is this what normal feels like? I know, I know, a problematic term. Who is really normal? I get it. But you know what I mean. We know what normal looks like. People who function, are rational, don’t hear voices, don’t try to kill themselves. When well-adjusted people go through life, they tend to finish
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Now I have to have the discipline to structure and occupy the time I have to myself. By myself. I’ve struggled with this in the past – it’s why I thrived in a military environment and why I work almost every night – I like to have a structure. I respond well to that. It’s
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Today I get my new living room light fixture installed. My coworker has a lot of experience with stuff like this so he’s doing it for me. Ceila invited me to her bonfire/barbecue tonight. The weather is unusually warm for the pacific northwest. As I type that, the weather just took a turn toward rain
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My new job wants to promote me. I’m not sure if I’ve already mentioned this, but there is a senior CNA position opening up and they put me in the class required for the promotion. I will have an expanded scope of practice which isn’t saying much because our scope is always limited. But I
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The publisher just let me know I’ll receive the whole book, edits and formatting and corrections complete, for my final review. It includes the cover design by my friend Mike, and the acknowledgment and dedication. I’m amazed it’s happening. Makes me motivated to keep writing, I suppose. I’m absolutely flat as a pancake. I have
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 