VA
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All Hallow’s Eve…and patients are off the hook all around me. The only day I work this week at Sacred Heart – and I’ve got sad cases, chaotic cases, all of it boiling down to the violence of our hyper capitalistic living. What people do to cope is incredible…like the 30-year-old girl dying of liver
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I have been off, but trying to bounce out of it. My charge nurse and coworker asked if I’d been taking my meds. I have! But I have been overwhelmed and frustrated with a lot. I am killing it, though. Despite the government shutdown, 97% of VA employees will work and continue to get paid
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I’ve been visiting my mother at my house daily after work. Subtly stressing how time is rushing by and my move in is fast approaching. We drink a few mimosas. Sometimes I order some breakfast. She looks like hell. So much smoking and drinking. She doesn’t attend to hygiene well, making excuses about being forced
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I am at a loss on what to say. I’ve felt a powerful sense of blankness and loss of feeling. I’m like a mannequin, or robot. Didn’t make it to work last night. Too much going on, house stuff, work, family stress… I spent most of the day at the house supervising a housecleaner who
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I am about to take my meds. For days I have been neither depressed nor happy. I am going through the motions, doing the things I need to do. I have to talk to people sometimes. I take care of the patients. I had a specialist look at my floor. The bright blues I painted
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Last night and today was a long day. I took ALL my sleep meds plus Seroquel to try to quiet the voices and calm my anxiety. When I was in the mental hospital, Seroquel quieted my overactive mind. Tonight, I am particularly tired and worn down. I still did not sleep that great and woke
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My new job wants to promote me. I’m not sure if I’ve already mentioned this, but there is a senior CNA position opening up and they put me in the class required for the promotion. I will have an expanded scope of practice which isn’t saying much because our scope is always limited. But I
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I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. I woke up late and had to rush to work late. I barely got a cup of coffee in me! Haven’t slept much, or eaten much, in several days. I think I will sleep okay today. With meds. There is one nurse that falls
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I got the first 60 pages back of my book, proofread and edited. There are new pages, still blank, for a dedication and acknowledgment. I haven’t thought about the dedication or acknowledgment yet, but it will most likely be dedicated to Ceila and Shelly, who were there for me the whole time I was going
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Everyone is saving their original email and emailing it back each Monday at President Musk’s demand. This is in reference to “list 5 accomplishments from last week” and the follow up email – do it again and every week, forever. So this week I ran a few prompts through chatGPT and had a bit of
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 