music
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Another one bites the dust. Two deaths in a week at the VA, and one of them was a full code. They still lost him. My humor is dark. Night shift humor is dark. This is true across medical, fire, police, and certain other professions that deal with people at their worst or at least,…
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I really hate myself sometimes. I worry a lot. I make stupid mistakes I shouldn’t be making. I second guess myself all the time. And I have a brain that breaks apart sometimes. I put it back together though. A few times. I’ve pieced together a lucrative career out of nurse assisting and owning a…
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I’m trying to use coping skills. The little dumb ones, like listening to music, especially during triggers and stress. Writing. You think this blog is cringe? Should see my paper journal. I use grounding when I dissociate – what can I feel? See? Hear? This involves a bit of mindfulness, and I am not always…
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Things are bad at home. There was a fight…and I’m not sorry but I still feel like shit. I never called names, I felt instead like I was defending myself. But she’s so good at positioning herself as the victim and me some kind of evil abuser. Who knows, maybe I am. And I don’t…
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Slowly but surely, I’m slogging through my own book one last time for all the errors. I’m truthfully a little irritated my publisher missed so many. I think he ran it through some software or something. The errors are systematic, and my military discharge date is wrong. In short, there will be a second edition.…
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I spent all morning waiting on my laminate flooring only to learn of a miscommunication and now I won’t get it till tomorrow morning and it is so irritating. I wasted three hours of my life sitting around. I had to remember my anger management/IOP skills for anger and supreme irritation. Sometimes therapy feels like…
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I sang last night and heard a new song I want to learn. It’s challenging with a wide range, and I already know I can do it. The song is Love on the Brain by Rihanna. Normally not my style, but it’s soulful and catchy. A love song and I have never felt love. I…
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I did something that has nothing to do with managing my bipolar disorder and PTSD. Something that doesn’t have to do with my bitter mother or hospitals or medications or WORK. I went to a ball. This is the kind of thing I’m supposed to do as part of my therapy and putting my life…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 