mental health
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I had been in the acute care psych unit – a smaller 8 bed unit for acute crisis cases – three days. My 5-day hold was nearly up, and you guessed it – the doctor petitioned up to two weeks. I paced nervously in my room, slowly descending deeper into madness. I conversed with the
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“They’ll never let you go.” My eyes flew open at the voice. No one was in the room. My head was throbbing and I was confused, not remembering where I’d been taken the day before and where I was. “You will be their guinea pig. They’re going to experiment on you,” the ominous voice said
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I detailed in depth the story of my very recent detainment, violent and traumatic. I’m still dealing with flashbacks and bad dreams. It triggered a lot of other older, terrifying memories of the first time I was detained 10 years ago. That too was violent and traumatic. And I really hoped it would never happen
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I see my psychologist weekly, and had my appointment with her this morning after my shift. I’ve been back at work three weeks now. I told her how I’ve been doing, how hard I’ve tried to be normal – “You’re not normal. This is the acceptance part of who you are. You’re different, and you’ll
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An elopement risk sign was added to the outside of the main doors because of my sleepwalking and attempts to get out, futile as they were. I was directed back to bed twice in the night but the second time Jake woke me up in the hall, pushing my shoulder and jumping back in case
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I have tried to keep busy. Yesterday I saw my supported employment case manager for the first time since before my recent detainment. He is still rather new to me, but I’ve been involved in the supported employment program at the VA for over 10 years now. They helped me get the job I have,
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I was sleepwalking every night. But Sunday morning came after I woke in the hall again, startled and confused. Jake took me back to my room and encouraged me to sleep the remaining two hours till vitals. I didn’t think I could but woke up when he came in with the vitals machine and my
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Pages from the journal I maintained in a desperate bid to hold onto sanity.
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 