medication

  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 10, IMPROVE Model, Holiday Stress

    Sometimes I get so discouraged. In IOP, in work, in life, in everything. Today I felt discouraged in IOP. I have before, worried it was too much to take in at once, that I would not be able to get better at the different coping skills, that others would get better while I stagnated. I…

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 9, Distress Tolerance, 2-Month Assessment

    After IOP Thursday, the therapist wanted to meet with me for my two month assessment. It has gone by fast. “How do you feel therapy has gone? Is there anything you need help with specifically?” “At first I was overwhelmed with the material and I felt like I wouldn’t be able to incorporate it or…

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  • Future Cost

    Future Cost

    I got decent sleep today, with medication I slept seven hours and only woke up twice. I had a terrible dream despite the prazosin medication I take for nightmares. This wasn’t so much a nightmare as it was a memory. I dreamed I woke up tied to a bed in the hospital, and subsequently fighting…

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 8, Distress Tolerance

    I’m already at my two month mark for IOP. I can’t believe it. Today started the module I’ve been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the most – distress tolerance. As Dr Black and the therapist in IOP explain it – emotion regulation is for day to day life and utilizing coping skills. Distress tolerance…

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 7, Mindfulness

    I had to duck out of IOP early today – my lack of a need for sleep finally seemed to be catching up with me. I worked two extra shifts Friday and Saturday nights, trying to expend the energy in a productive manner, and only slept a few hours Sunday before coming back in for…

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  • Hypomania, IOP assessment

    Hypomania, IOP assessment

    Trying to sum up the last few days is difficult. My mind has been all over the place, my energy high, my libido even higher. We closed out emotion regulation in IOP, the end of week six for me. Riley the therapist wanted to see me after. I’m at roughly the one-month mark and it…

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  • Intensive Outpatient – Week 6, Emotion Regulation, Cope Ahead

    I can hardly believe it, but I am nearly half completed with IOP. That comes with a lot of feelings – I’m worried I have not learned and properly incorporated the material enough or as well as the others, and I’m scared at the thought of being cut loose. I have to do this, I…

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  • “Knock knock…nursing!”

    “Knock knock…nursing!”

    I am exhausted! But I am also damn good at what I do. I didn’t mean to be, it just happened organically. I’ve been at my local VA hospital as a lowly CNA for ten years, with the help of supported employment and a case manager. I started working for an agency back in January…

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  • Opposite of Emotion

    Opposite of Emotion

    Opposite of emotion – when feeling distressing emotions, practice a behavior that is opposite to that emotion or feeling. When depressed, force yourself to distract, go for a walk, listen to music, talk to someone (damn near impossible for me but I’m working on it). That was today’s IOP DBT skill. I felt overwhelmed in…

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  • The Wall

    The Wall

    IOP was so hard. I am overwhelmed. I question my ability to do this. I question any of it will work. I became slightly overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t quite articulate how I was feeling. I was starting to open up a little bit more (it’s extremely difficult for me to be vulnerable with a…

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