hospital
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There is little I can do about my reasonable accommodation request over the weekend, but I do have a phone number to call, or I can try to navigate their portal from a work computer. I figure I’ll just call them and expedite it, because I’ve already worked the floor once. I’ve been doing this…
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Couldn’t sleep today. Still kind of reverberating from yesterday’s unexpected and intense trigger. I had a lot of flashbacks, dissociation. Unable to eat anything. But tonight is my first night at my new job. I’m looking forward to the distraction, my mind will hopefully be focused on learning my new floor, and not on painful…
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Day three of orientation for my new job – also the last day. I had clinical content, part of a whole slew of legal regulatory requirements. I wasn’t thinking much of it – it’s all review, I’ve been doing this 15 years – till the instructor got to restraints and whipped them out in front…
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I got decent sleep today, with medication I slept seven hours and only woke up twice. I had a terrible dream despite the prazosin medication I take for nightmares. This wasn’t so much a nightmare as it was a memory. I dreamed I woke up tied to a bed in the hospital, and subsequently fighting…
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I’m already at my two month mark for IOP. I can’t believe it. Today started the module I’ve been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the most – distress tolerance. As Dr Black and the therapist in IOP explain it – emotion regulation is for day to day life and utilizing coping skills. Distress tolerance…
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I had a good laugh yesterday when a letter from the mental hospital came. I was curious at first, wondering what on earth they could have to write me about, as opposed to email or call. A survey? I did one of those at discharge. A follow up to see how I’m doing? No, it…
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I am exhausted! But I am also damn good at what I do. I didn’t mean to be, it just happened organically. I’ve been at my local VA hospital as a lowly CNA for ten years, with the help of supported employment and a case manager. I started working for an agency back in January…
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During my second week in the hospital, I finally called my mother. What a disaster. I had been stabilizing pretty well on medication changes and Dr Floura’s careful dialing in of the right doses and times. I had learned a lot about myself and that this depression was largely existential in nature, exacerbated by my…
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“How are you doing?” “I’m good, I’m good. I called my brother; I need his help. I can’t do it alone anymore. I don’t know what I’m going to do about my living situation. I want to move out. I think I’ll move out.” “How about the meds, any side effects?” “Just from that artane…
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As I started to stabilize just slightly, inching a little closer toward cautious optimism, I had a terrible reaction to a medication that was supposed to help me with extrapyramidal symptoms. What follows is some of my writings while psychotic. I don’t remember writing any of it.
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 