depression
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Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government – The White House This was in my email today. I’ve been written out of existence. I honestly can’t remember what my employee records say. Something’s up with the eOPF government employee records site. They should say male but it’s possible
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I have had to sit with a lot of discomfort for the last few days. It’s forced me to think a lot about the DBT skills I’m supposed to use in response to these painful feelings – distraction, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) build mastery, and just plain sitting with the shitty feelings. I also
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Something is happening but I dare not say what, for fear of ruining it. The DIY detox seems to have gone well. As far as I can tell, my brother hasn’t had a drink since last Thursday. I metered out to him four ativan on day one, three on day two, three on day three
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This is so fucked up. It is happening all over again. I’m trying to face and accept the fact it’s going to keep happening. I have another patient in restraints and this time I had to help restrain him. I did everything I could to avoid it. For five hours I tried redirection, distraction, calming
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I have not been to my house to see my mom. Or the store for more lemonade. I haven’t picked up the rent from one of my tenants. They even called to see if I was okay. Yes, I said…just catching up with things and getting adjusted to a new schedule and feeling rather unmotivated
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It’s Monday and feels so strange because it’s the first Monday in three months I don’t have IOP or an appointment with Dr Black. I’ve been working on – at least in my mind – my house. In my mind I plan all kinds of plans and on my phone I do all kinds of
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Build mastery – the art of staying busy with tasks and chores to distract from the ever present sense of dread and fear and anguish. I’m write sardonically, of course, but it’s true. It’s literally a DBT skill in which you try to exert control over the environment around you, clean yourself up, clean up
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For now, my “journey” through both civilian and veteran mental health systems is at the maintenance phase. I have graduated IOP as of the end of the year. I could have done more time and the VA likely would have paid for it, but I felt ready, and I also liked how it closed out
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A bittersweet day. I finished my episode of care with Dr Black and after that, went to my last day of IOP, where I graduated silently. I have all kinds of mixed emotions. At least I am feeling again, at least somewhat. I feel a nervous sense of trepidation, like a kid learning to ride
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Well that didn’t take long. At first I was a rock star. I came on the floor and it was a madhouse. There were several call lights at once and an incoming admit. I answered the lights and attempted to seek out the person I was relieving to get a report. The admit came, alcoholic
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 