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When I got to work tonight and saw my assignment – ED psych (emergency department) – my heart sank. It’s another one of those things that can happen – getting floated around the hospital. Usually, they use float pool staff but if they’re all busy or don’t exist, they tap the next available staff. Still…
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I have felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I can’t eat, could hardly sleep. I can’t get my mind off the VA and my job and my healthcare and the fact a far right, obsessively anti-LGBT oligarchy is taking over. I haven’t heard back from my provider yet, so I’m calling back today after work.…
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I always knew this day would come, and it didn’t take long at all. Got another shitty work email this week. This time, a memo rescinding the VHA directive to provide gender-affirming care to trans vets. Effective immediately, the VA no longer provides gender-affirming care. “Unless such veterans are already receiving care from VA” –…
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I got the first 60 pages back of my book, proofread and edited. There are new pages, still blank, for a dedication and acknowledgment. I haven’t thought about the dedication or acknowledgment yet, but it will most likely be dedicated to Ceila and Shelly, who were there for me the whole time I was going…
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I have a confession to make – I’ve missed several doses of my evening Lamictal (the mood stabilizer) over the past few weeks. I’ve had issues with med compliance in the past. Whether is work schedules interfering with med times, or feeling really good and not wanting it to bring me down from hypomania or…
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Everyone is saving their original email and emailing it back each Monday at President Musk’s demand. This is in reference to “list 5 accomplishments from last week” and the follow up email – do it again and every week, forever. So this week I ran a few prompts through chatGPT and had a bit of…
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I haven’t been eating or sleeping that much. I feel like I don’t need as much sleep as other people and my energy levels stay high. I take my meds for sleep, but they only work for a few hours. I wake up bleary but unable to get back to sleep. I still have unsettling…
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My book encompasses the first 100 or so posts of this blog, give or take. I’ve compiled it, formatted it, proofread it, and now it is with the publisher. They do their own editing and formatting to make it look good in book form. I have to pick the typeset I want. Soon I also…
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I don’t even know what to say. My meds keep me going, that is about it. I’m trying to focus on what I can control, like IOP taught me. I like exerting control over my environment, and I’ve been preparing my house for eventual move-in. I got my room painted, two different shades of blue.…
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The Great Purge continues. Thousands of layoffs across crucial people’s services – social security, FDA…and soon the VA. Today they announced they planned to cut 80k jobs, to pre-2019 levels, before the PACT act and increased services to veterans affected by burn pits, among other things. Cutting 80k people would be devastating to veterans and…
Documenting my journey through the mental health system 